Tips on how to **** your party healer off.

[DToNE]

TIPS AND TRICKS on HOW TO **** A HEALER OFF!
((Disclaimer: This was designed to be a joke topic))
This guide was written and designed to bring appreciation for the lovely people who chase those dreaded healers out of your wonderful party. What can be worse than having a person that just stays back all the time while you spend precious energy wailing away at the enemy? It's a complete waste of space! Now we can solve this problem by following these wonderful pieces of advice

1) Complain all the time. Eventually, you'll get heard. Persistence pays off in the real world, doesn't it? If you work hard towards it, it will eventually happen and you will be thoroughly thanked for it.

2) A strong party always needs a decisive leader. That's right, what better way to demonstrate your leadership capabilities than to take charge and lead the party into the fight? It's a clear show of courage and prowess to demonstrate the lack of fear and strike awe to your fellow party members. Without your leadership, the whole party would fall apart!

3) Show the trap who's boss. Traps are designed to bring fear and make the party hesitate. Hesitation only brings certain death. Would you hesitate to swing that axe if you knew that kobold was charging at you? Absolutely not! Therefore, you gotta show the trap who's boss. To do this, just run across the trap several times to show the party that it's not particularly fatal, therefore no reason to hesitate. Things will be done much faster this way and there would be less to worry about!

4) Curses and poison only affects the superstitious. This is a fantasy world. There is no curse and no poison that can halt your fury! As long as you don't see it, it isn't there; this is the truth of the world!

5) Heroes never fall. Even if you shall fall, others will always aid you and bring you back to your feet. If you fail, try and try again until you succeed! Only victory awaits you at the end.

6) The world of magic is infinite! It's true, magical and miraculous things always occur, no matter what the circumstance. Know that you can always rely on your team's magician to throw that trusty fireball and blow up that kobold around the corner you can't quite reach. What good would magic be if it ever runs out?

7) The sword is mightier than the pen. How can a measly little twig ever compare to your +1 Longsword of Destruction? Forget peace treaties and tactics that don't involve fighting, those are only for cowards. Shove sword down throat first, ask questions later. I mean, that's how the law does things, right?

8) Sleep is for the weak. The whole point of the game is to maintain momentum. If you cannot maintain the momentum, something's gonna break. Giving the party a chance to rest would ruin party momentum, thus ruining overall morale! We have to keep the fighting spirit up and show the enemy that we mean business. Thus you should always charge headlong into the enemy and help the party realize this fact!

9) The more you can do, the better. Who doesn't love a fighter that can heal, cast magic, deal with traps, sing, do martial arts, shoot a bow, and can do gymnastics? This is why it's important to multiclass everything you can as early as possible and develop those essential skills! This way, you can show off your extensive talents and abilities, leaving others at awe.

10) Screaming raises party morale. It works everywhere else, doesn't it? Battlecries and barking orders was what Spartans used to fend off the thousands of Persian Troops with only a few. Leadership and superiority is clearly shown through this method time and again. Why not use this to your advantage?

11) Don't stay around losers. The longer you stick around a losers that can't do anything right, the more they affect you. Thus, to resolve this problem as quickly as possible, you should leave and find a better group. The grass is always greener on the other side, after all.

12) Finders keepers. So you found a valuable piece of treasure and it just so happens the party beggar happens to beg you for it. Why would you ever want to give away the hard earned treasure you desperately worked for? If they couldn't get it themselves, tough. That's life.

13) People love commercials. So why not advertise? Clearly, the auction house lacks this important feature. You should always show your products with care by constantly displaying the product for sale throughout the server. This shows how much you care about the community and how you want it to get better. What better time to do this than being in the heat of battle? Advertising should always be exciting, after all!

14) Walls are made to be broken. Why would you ever want to get stuck in a hole by fortifying yourself. The only thing that ever needs to be fortified is a castle. Warriors and knights should always be on the offensive. Leave the fortification to the little folk, scars show signs of a true man!

Hopefully this guide has helped you become a better player and has brought you much insight in your DDO gaming career!

[Aspenor]

You missed the Improved Fortification feat.

[DToNE]

Originally Posted by Aspenor

You missed the Improved Fortification feat.

Good point, I'll add that right now.