Letters to the Festivult Jester - 2013 Edition

[Festivult_Jester]

The time has come once again to answer your maaaaagic holiday questions! Remember to have a fun Festivult, and eat those cookies - they’re good for you! I will see you in-game next week!

What does the fox say?
- Desonde

I don't know, I will have to ask the next time I see one!

Can't you find a place to stand that's a lot closer to the ground??
- Alancarp

Why do you have such a predisposition for elevated, precarious places?
- Rfachini

Good questions! Originally, my plan was to distribute Festivult goodies at ground-level, but then I became aware of a Coin Lord mandate that all vendors in Stormreach pay a fee to transact business in the city, or face, shall we say, unpleasantness?

However, upon looking closely at the charter, I noticed that this fee was to be levied against all businesses, "...whose structures or vendors be located on the grounds of Stormreach..." Well, there is no "ground" in the air! So, I employed the use of floating platforms to avoid all contact with the ground around Stormreach, and am therefore able to take part in this festival while honoring the rules set by the excellent and productive Coin Lords!

Can I haz allz UR stuffs?
- ComicRelief

No, but you may have some of my wonderful cookies and assorted other delightful items!

If a Lyrander-elemental-powered train leaves House Cannith at 4:45pm heading due south going 44 miles/hour, and a second train leaves southern Xen'drik 15 minutes later going north and traveling at 57 miles/hour, when they meet in a fiery conflagration, do the elementals escape, wreaking havoc across Stormreach?
- Rinnaldo

I would say that depends on the temperment of the elementals. Perhaps they would become enamored with the season of Festivult, and choose to bring happiness and joy wherever they went!

Do you know how to ice skate?
- UurlockYgmeov

No, but I am very good at stepping onto ice without falling!

What are my chances of you giving me a specific +5 tome?
- JJMC895610

It is theoretically possible to get exceptional items from even Copper Coins! Essentially, every time you turn in a coin, there is a chance to be "upgraded"to the next loot tier on a special chart. So, you could get very lucky and get upgraded all the way to a tome! The better the coin, the further up the ladder you start, so your chances of being upgraded to the best rewards are better with a gold coin than with a silver or copper, because you have fewer tiers to try and get upgraded through.

Who am I and what am I doing here?
– Geoffhanna

I may not know your name, halfling, but you are currently stepping on my foot!

Who are you and why are you here? (I am fairly new)
- Runerock

I am a "friend of the Coin Lords" who exchanges Festival Coins for gifts from Houses Ghallanda and Cannith that are crafted especially for the season!

The Festival of the Twelfth Moon is a holiday commissioned by the Coin Lords of Stormreach. Since ancient times, the folk of Eberron have observed Long Shadows during these chill weeks -- a grim season when the power of the Shadow, a god of the Dark Six, is at its strongest. Dire magic gathers in dusky corners, and evil stalks the night in a thousand guises. The Coin Lords have determined that the terror of Long Shadows must end! To this end, they devised the festival as a celebration to drive evil out of the city. Instead of cowering from the Shadow, citizens are encouraged to exchange gifts with their adventuring partners and loved ones. And by slaying the monsters who threaten the city's well-being, they may collect Festival Coins to demonstrate their dauntless spirit in the face of Long Shadows and the Dark Six!

What color is your underwear? *wink*
- Btolson

I don't know, let me check...

...I choose not to answer that question!

Hello Mr. FestiJester. Where do babies come from?
- Thumbed_Servant

Depends on the baby!

Can i have a cookie? Pretty, pretty please.
- Ebergar

Provided you have coins to exchange for them, yes!

What is your secret ingredient for your magical cookies?
- Book_O_Dragons

If I told you, then it wouldn't be a secret! I'll give you a hint, though: it rhymes with "Tea Holder".

Could You please give me a bag for all these delicious cookies? I fear that I may drop them othervise.
- Drelak

Alas, all of my canvas is used for extremely important things! However, I understand that the Coin Lords have commissioned exceptionally-well-crafted Cookie Jars that can be used to store Festivult treats year-round!

I would ask him what his profit margin is like. Is there a wholesaler that I could be going to for bulk trades & get a better deal?
- Desertbuttons

I do not profit from this! I use all of those coins to pay the salaries of the artificers and cooks who make Festivult items and cookies! Also, rumors that these coins are sent to the Coin Lords to fill their vast loot-filled Vaults are completely unfounded.

What...is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
- LucasMacKinnon

42!

I ask the Festivult Jester what he does in the off season.

...and if he has nothing planned after the Festivult if he'd like to join my airship crew.
- PuppiesandRainbows

Managing the cookie creation process is quite time-consuming, and much of the year is spent preparing for next year's distribution. There are a lot of you after all! That said, I do like to take a few months off once Festivult has ended to travel, eat Tasty Ham, and generally relax. If you see someone who looks like the Jester, but is wearing a particularly lucky-looking pair of breeches, it might be me!

I would ask him if he was related to the guy with the white beard and red suit who also hangs out on roofs at this time of year.
- MRJ2010

I have no idea what you mean. If someone is spending far too much time on your roof than you wish, perhaps you should have a conversation with them!

[Festivult_Jester]

You are in five places at the same time!
What manner of sorcery is this?

Clone spell?
Doppelgangers?
Mirror Image spell?

Please tell me.
- NPC

Umm...hm. I believe you are mistaken. I do like to travel around quite a bit; perhaps you just happen to see me in various places because we have a similar schedule? Either way, I'm suuuurreee there's noooo funny-business or magic involved.

Do you feel lucky, punk? Well, do ya?
- Fedora1

Yes, quite often!

Where do festival twigs come from?
- Dulcimerist

I have heard several stories about this incredible item!

The First Story:

There once was a friend of the Coin Lords who was looking for a remote location to create a workshop. This friend found himself at wits end, slowly being chilled to his last breath upon the icy landscape of Everice, wishing only for a small fire from which to survive the night.

This friend appealed to all of the powers within Eberron to save him. To his surprise, an incredible wind blew from the north, a tornado of dust and debris carried from lands far away, perhaps as far as the jungles of Xendrik itself! After the wind died down, this friend prepared for death, and began walking toward a small hollow in the ice from which to rest his mortal soul.


To his surprise, he arrived to find his salvation - a small twig left behind by the powerful wind! He used this twig to light a fire, which kept him safe through the night, and the morning brought life-giving sun and warmth.

I have heard it said that this friends workshop is located at the place where the twig was found! To give thanks, this friend pledged that no citizen of Eberron be without a twig, so that they might have life-giving fire in the event they find themselves in a similar position. Thus, the Festival Twig was born!

The Second Story:

A certain Producer working for Turbine, Inc. was a member of a founding guild on Ghallanda, playing anonymously. The guild had a saying when they would open a chest to find undesirable items inside. They would say, This chest has nothing but stones and twigs in it! When the time came to create items for Festivult, they needed an idea for a booby prize - an item that had little use. A certain Producer in question remembered playing with the guild on Ghallanda, and said, We should make it a Twig! Others agreed, and the Festival Twig was born!


The Twig spent many years being a sad scoffed-at gift from my packs. Even more loathed than coal! Every Season my mailbox would be flooded with requests to make the Twig DO something. So, one year the Twig found new purpose!

Jack Frostbite arrived in Eberron with his Risia games, and Jack had a brilliant idea to put the Twig to work. The Twig was the natural shape for wands, so the Twig became an ingredient to create frosty themed wands in the Risian Crafting Altar. But that was not the only practical application of Twigs! through a lot of maaagical experimentation, a secret recipe was created. By combining snow, coal, winter motes, and a twig, a Snowma..I mean..Snow Elemental could be summoned to fight for you! (The Twig turned out to be perfect to make its hair).

And that my friends, are the stories of the Festival Twig. I will let you decide which story you believe.

Where can we get the recipes for those tasty treats?
- Kulothar

They are highly-placed secrets by House Ghallanda and House Cannith. Perhaps you could try asking them nicely? I can tell you that the most important ingredient is - love!

[Seikojin]

Have you ever thought of bartering for coins? Less of a blind chance, but more of a Pay this and your choices are these?

[Zavier]

What color is your underwear? *wink*
- Btolson



I don't know, let me check...

...I choose not to answer that question!

The mere fact you chose the color yellow to "highlight" your refusal to comment is a bit disturbing to say the least

[ICU]

Why must you torment use with the such long delay of your coming. Perhaps you can use a magic cookie and get here sooner ??

[RowanNightShade]

Why don't you have a little friend with you like Jack Frostbite does? I would think it would get boring up there in the air sometimes. And where did Jack Frostbite's little friend come from anyways?

Oh, and before I forget, there were rumors that even the coin lords were turning in coins for cookies last year, could this rumor be true? :O

Happy Festivult XD

[Arnhelm]

What color is your underwear? *wink*
- Btolson



I don't know, let me check...

...I choose not to answer that question!

The mere fact you chose the color yellow to "highlight" your refusal to comment is a bit disturbing to say the least

Well, at least he didn't use brown. Just sayin'

[knightgf]

- If I use a Jewel of Fortune to improve my luck, will it affect my luck in getting a better prize from turning in Festivult coins? What about items that grant a general luck bonus, such as the voice of the master?

[FestusHood]

I noticed that there will be a way to get the three new cookies by paying motes in Eveningstar. Will there be a mote price available for all cookies, or just the new ones?

[Hafeal]

Surely after bringing joy and amusement to others you may need a riddle to pass the time, so let me ask:

My life can be measured in hours
I serve by being devoured
Thin I am quick
Fat I am slow
Wind is my foe
What am I?

[FrostBeard]

Dear Festivult Jester

I know you are busy and all, and you prolly have heaps of things to do but..

But can you please make all the nasty game memory leaks and lag go away.

That is all.

[PookaWitch]

I have a present for you Jester!

~ From Phaeshalee

https://www.ddo.com/forums/showthrea...02#post5199602

[???]

Good questions! Originally, my plan was to distribute Festivult goodies at ground-level, but then I became aware of a Coin Lord mandate that all vendors in Stormreach pay a fee to transact business in the city, or face, shall we say, unpleasantness?

However, upon looking closely at the charter, I noticed that this fee was to be levied against all businesses, "...whose structures or vendors be located on the grounds of Stormreach..." Well, there is no "ground" in the air! So, I employed the use of floating platforms to avoid all contact with the ground around Stormreach, and am therefore able to take part in this festival while honoring the rules set by the excellent and productive Coin Lords!

And where are you? Checked all places from ddowiki.com - nowhere!

[hdrinehart]

The answer, while not obvious, is amusing--Firewood!

Ragnurff the Mad

Surely after bringing joy and amusement to others you may need a riddle to pass the time, so let me ask:

My life can be measured in hours
I serve by being devoured
Thin I am quick
Fat I am slow
Wind is my foe
What am I?

[Hafeal]

The answer, while not obvious, is amusing--Firewood!

Ragnurff the Mad

That is a worthy answer Ragnurff, alas, it is not the answer I was seeking though ...

[Festivult_Jester]

Surely after bringing joy and amusement to others you may need a riddle to pass the time, so let me ask:

My life can be measured in hours
I serve by being devoured
Thin I am quick
Fat I am slow
Wind is my foe
What am I?

A Candy Cane! Thinner ones are consumed more quickly, fatter ones more slowly, and the sand-and-dirt-filled winds of Eberron make them far less tasty (unless you like the taste of sand and dirt of course.)

I noticed that there will be a way to get the three new cookies by paying motes in Eveningstar. Will there be a mote price available for all cookies, or just the new ones?

Just the new ones, for this Festivult at least.

[Damien_Vampyre]

since you seem to be waiting twice as long to get here does that mean you'll be staying half the time?

[Damien_Vampyre]

BTW.. it's a candle

Surely after bringing joy and amusement to others you may need a riddle to pass the time, so let me ask:

My life can be measured in hours
I serve by being devoured
Thin I am quick
Fat I am slow
Wind is my foe
What am I?

[???]

If I told you, then it wouldn't be a secret! I'll give you a hint, though: it rhymes with "Tea Holder".

If I bring you some of the material, will I be able to get a free cookie?

[Azurchaos]

However, upon looking closely at the charter, I noticed that this fee was to be levied against all businesses, "...whose structures or vendors be located on the grounds of Stormreach..." Well, there is no "ground" in the air! So, I employed the use of floating platforms to avoid all contact with the ground around Stormreach, and am therefore able to take part in this festival while honoring the rules set by the excellent and productive Coin Lords!


Only place i know of with floating Platforms is House Cannith. Although from what i have been told jester isn't always around, he comes and goes so gonna have to check back every now and then.