LeslieWest_GuitarGod
Well-known member
/Quality700 points for 4 quests with rare (mediocre) loot. This has to be a joke.
The Best D&D Jokes Thread... Make me laugh, I dares ya!
- Thread starter LeslieWest_GuitarGod
- Start date
LeslieWest_GuitarGod
Well-known member
LOL! That joke rocks.
LeslieWest_GuitarGod
Well-known member
Phoenicis
Savage's Husband
77th to be fair.I believe you mean after the 69th
LeslieWest_GuitarGod
Well-known member
How I won my first raid on my haggle bard, Mississippee Queen...
Sidrin Baenre
Active member
Help me stepbro. I am stuck on the loading screen.
LeslieWest_GuitarGod
Well-known member
Q. What do you call an angry wood woad?
A. A steamed veggie
A. A steamed veggie
Aeromach
The Best
Nice thread! I just found this while perusing the forum looking for something else...
I love the dwarf jokes.
---------------
What do you call an evil wizard who gives good hickeys?
A necromancer.
Wanna hear a magical joke?
Oh sorry, it just vanished from my mind.
How does Delera Omaren measure distances?
In graveyards...
-----------------
Parting shot for the Gimped you may meet in your travels:
* Your intelligence is your dump stat, isn’t it?
* If I paid for 20 idiots and all I got was you, I’d still have gotten my money’s worth.
* If I had a copper piece for every time someone complimented your face, I’d be in debt.
* You’re like a practice dummy, but less challenging.
I love the dwarf jokes.
---------------
What do you call an evil wizard who gives good hickeys?
A necromancer.
Wanna hear a magical joke?
Oh sorry, it just vanished from my mind.
How does Delera Omaren measure distances?
In graveyards...
-----------------
Parting shot for the Gimped you may meet in your travels:
* Your intelligence is your dump stat, isn’t it?
* If I paid for 20 idiots and all I got was you, I’d still have gotten my money’s worth.
* If I had a copper piece for every time someone complimented your face, I’d be in debt.
* You’re like a practice dummy, but less challenging.
LeslieWest_GuitarGod
Well-known member
Nice thread! I just found this while perusing the forum looking for something else...
I love the dwarf jokes.
Welcome aboard!
So erm, I figured I'd just drop another dwarf joke here...
An elf walks into a tavern, bets 500gp no one can drink 10 dwarven ales in a row.
The tavern patrons fall silent, one dwarf even gets up and leaves.
Half an hour later he comes back and asks the elf: "Does yer offer still stand?"
"Aye", says the elf and orders the drinks. Sure enough, the dwarf downs them all in rapid succession, not wasting a single drop.
Afterwards the elf pays him and says: "My congratulations, but you do have to tell me, why did you leave at first?"
"Well", the dwarf says, "I went to the inn across th' street, had to see if I could do it first."
LeslieWest_GuitarGod
Well-known member
Why is it a mistake for the baker to trust the goldsmith? Because he's always Pie-right.
LeslieWest_GuitarGod
Well-known member
Humans say that a dwarf's beard is a reflection of his strength. Gnomes say that a dwarf's beard is an outward sign of his courage. Elves say that a dwarf's beard is a manifestation of his pride. But we all know better, don't we? A dwarf's beard is a sign of his modesty. After all, a dwarf with a proper beard can walk around without any pants on, and you'd never know it unless he turned his backside to you!
LeslieWest_GuitarGod
Well-known member
At the harbor the city watch drags a dead half-elf from the river, chained to an enormous lead weight. "Damn those halvies!" the captain of the watch guard exclaims. "They always steal more than they can carry!"
LeslieWest_GuitarGod
Well-known member
A blind dwarf enters a bar and asks the Barkeeper "Wanna hear a joke about elves?" Suddenly, the bar is as silent as a grave. A guy next to the blind man leans over and whispers..
"Dude, be careful. The barkeeper is a high elf and an ex-soldier. The bouncer is also a dark elf and the reigning boxing champion of the city. And then there is Joe... he's just released from prison after he broke a dude's jaw and his two arms. He is a wood elf. Are you sure you wanna tell that elf joke?"
The blind dwarf takes a minute to think about that, turns on his barchair and says "OK, FINE... I won't tell the joke... I don't have the time to explain that joke at least three times."
"Dude, be careful. The barkeeper is a high elf and an ex-soldier. The bouncer is also a dark elf and the reigning boxing champion of the city. And then there is Joe... he's just released from prison after he broke a dude's jaw and his two arms. He is a wood elf. Are you sure you wanna tell that elf joke?"
The blind dwarf takes a minute to think about that, turns on his barchair and says "OK, FINE... I won't tell the joke... I don't have the time to explain that joke at least three times."
LeslieWest_GuitarGod
Well-known member
What type of elves are the rudest? Gofuhkyurs elves.
ChickenMobile
Well-known member
Why did the Fighter win the farting competition?
Because he had second wind.
Because he had second wind.
Jack Jarvis Esquire
Well-known member
Dorf, standing on a conveniently positioned box, looks out from his window across the cramped and narrow alleyway in which he resides, and spies a fair young elf maid through a window opposite, who is glancing over at him as she combs her lustrous flaxen hair.
Dorf hurriedly opens his window, and to his suprise the beautiful smiling elf does the same.
Dorf smiles and cheerfully yells over to the smiling beauty....
"Did you fart there too then lassie, aye?!?"
Dorf hurriedly opens his window, and to his suprise the beautiful smiling elf does the same.
Dorf smiles and cheerfully yells over to the smiling beauty....
"Did you fart there too then lassie, aye?!?"
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LeslieWest_GuitarGod
Well-known member
Bahahahaha That's a great one Kathwynn!