Thoughts/Humor of the Day

[cdbd3rd]

A Human and a Half-Orc walk into a bar.

The Halfling walked under.​

 

[Fizban]

The police are investigating the death of a man who was killed with a can of chickpeas.

• <a few moments later>

It's an obvious case of hummusicide.

Please keep all Thoughts/Jokes within HR appropriate context.

 

[Hobgoblin]

What did one bug on the windshield say to the other bug on the windshield?

I bet you don’t have the guts to do that again

what is the last thing to cross a bugs mind as he hits your windshield?



his butt

 

[Fizban]

If two vegans have a falling out with one another, can it still be called a "beef"?

Please keep all Thoughts/Jokes within HR appropriate context.

 

[saekee]

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a drink…and a mop.

 

[Fizban]

How do researchers know that babies are afraid of the supernatural?

• <a few moments later>

Because they cry during their first out-of-body experience?

Please keep all Thoughts/Jokes within HR appropriate context.

 

[Fizban]

As a lawyer woke up after surgery, he said "Why are all the blinds drawn?"

• <a few moments later>

The doctor answered, "there's a big fire accross the street, and we didn't want you to think the operation was a failure."

Please keep all Thoughts/Jokes within HR appropriate context.

 

[Fizban]

I taught my daughter what bargain meant.

• <a few moments later>

She said, "Thanks, Dad. That means a great deal."

Please keep all Thoughts/Jokes within HR appropriate context.

 

[Thad]

Have you heard the joke about yoga.
Nevermind its a bit of a stretch.

 

[Fizban]

What do you call a store the sells only bagels and donuts?

• <a few moments later>

Hole Foods.

Please keep all Thoughts/Jokes within HR appropriate context.

 

[Thad]

My friend told me he had the body of a Greek god.

I had to explain to him that Buddha is not Greek.

 

[The_Apocalypse]

Please keep all Thoughts/Jokes within HR appropriate context.

What does "HR" mean?

 

[Fizban]

What does "HR" mean?

HR = Human Resources. There is no HR department for players concerning SSG (DDO) but the request for PG jokes is the same.

 

[Fizban]

People who don't use punctuation should be punished.

• <a few moments later>

They deserve a long sentence.

Please keep all Thoughts/Jokes within PG rated context.

 

[Hobgoblin]

My friend told me he had the body of a Greek god.

I had to explain to him that Buddha is not Greek.

Dionysus and pan are also gods

 

[Thad]

When does a joke become a “dad” joke?

When it becomes apparent.

 

[Alternative]

What happens when you steal pee from a pirate?

He becomes irate.

 

[Thad]

Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?

Because Batman has sworn to protect Goth-ham.

 

[ChickenMobile]

Did I ever tell you about the time I saw some pigs standing around in a circle?
Ah nevermind, it's a boar ring story anyway.

 

[Fizban]

The differences between a husband and a wife.

• <a few moments later>

When your wife asks you to smell something, it usually smells nice.

Please keep all Thoughts/Jokes within PG rated context.