Thoughts/Humor of the Day

[Fizban]

What is the difference between the treatment for bird flu and swine flu.

• <a few moments later>

One requires tweetment.
And one requires ointment.

Please keep all Thoughts/Jokes within PG rated context.

 

[Grimscore_Riffstorm]

Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station!

 

[The_Apocalypse]

What is the difference between the treatment for bird flu and swine flu.

• <a few moments later>

One requires tweetment.
And one requires OINKment.

Corrected, hehe.

 

[Biggdaddy]

A spinster wins the lottery. She decides to treat herself to a milk bath as it’s good for her complexion. She calls her grocery man and asks for enough milk to fill her tub.

He asks “Ma’am, would you like that milk pasteurized?”

She thinks about it for a moment, and replies, “No, I think just up to my neck will be fine.”

 

[Biggdaddy]

I know more than I've forgotten, but I've forgotten more than I know...

Hey! these are supposed to be jokes!

 

[The_Apocalypse]

"Thought/Joke of the Day"

 

[dur]

Hey! these are supposed to be jokes!

I don't get it. Why does it have to be an apparently stupid Spinster?

 

[Thad]

Who built King Arthur’s round table?

Sir Cumference.

 

[Fizban]

My neighbor named his dog "5 Miles" so he could tell people he walked 5 miles every day.

• <a few moments later>

Well today I ran over 5 miles...

Please keep all Thoughts/Jokes within PG rated context.

 

[Hobgoblin]

you can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you can't pick your friends nose

 

[Thad]

Nurse: "Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room who says he is invisible."

Doctor: "Tell him I cannot see him today!"

 

[Fizban]

What do you call a man who is overly prepared?

• <a few moments later>

Justin Case

Please keep all Thoughts/Jokes within PG rated context.

 

[Thad]

Server uptime is like coffee

without it, nothing works.

 

[Guntango]

"My GF told me that if I keep playing video games, she's going to leave me.


Sometimes I miss her."

- Cripey

 

[Dogbreath68]

My wife's brother is a cop, and he told me that the only way to get out of a DUI is to give him a bj. I said jerky, you're my wife's brother...just give me the DUI.

 

[Biggdaddy]

Mathematicians can be so pompous. Like that one guy who discovered pi -- we've never heard the end of it!

 

[Guntango]

Mathematicians can be so pompous. Like that one guy who discovered pi -- we've never heard the end of it!

 

[Hobgoblin]

oldie but goodie.

you can't trust atoms they make up everything

 

[Sympl]

My two favorite chemistry jokes:

Person 1: Have you heard the one about Sodium?
Person 2: Na.

Atom 1: Dude, I think I just lost an electron...
Atom 2: Are you sure?
Atom 1: Yeah, I'm positive.

 

[Guntango]

oldie but goodie.

you can't trust atoms they make up everything

That's an oldie but terribleie.