Thoughts/Humor of the Day
- Thread starter Fizban
- Start date
Jack Jarvis Esquire
Well-known member
A flat-headed dwarf with a cauliflower ear walked into a bar. Got a beer for free and left.
Why the free beer, I asked the bartender.
That's big Jeff. He always gets free beer round these parts, as a few years ago he saved 10 lives by acting as a prop when a mine collapsed. Held up the roof for them long enough to get out. Used to be 6'4. Total hero.
Wow, that explains why he's so short and the flat head, I guess, but how did he get the thick ear?
Oh, that's from when they hammered him into position...
Why the free beer, I asked the bartender.
That's big Jeff. He always gets free beer round these parts, as a few years ago he saved 10 lives by acting as a prop when a mine collapsed. Held up the roof for them long enough to get out. Used to be 6'4. Total hero.
Wow, that explains why he's so short and the flat head, I guess, but how did he get the thick ear?
Oh, that's from when they hammered him into position...
LokiFrost
The Icelandic Loki
Classic joke in Iceland:
Vinur hans fullvissar hann um að þetta ætti ekki að vera vandamál: Talaðu bara mjög hægt og Norðmenn skilja þig fullkomlega vel. Einu sinni í Osló fer Íslendingurinn á bar og reynir að panta sér bjór á mjög hægfara íslensku:
“Mig… langar í… bjór.
“Barþjónninn gefur honum bjór.
Það virkaði! Eftir að hann klárar það reynir hann að panta annan.
Aftur, mjög hægt.
Translation:
An Icelander takes a trip to Norway but is worried because he doesn’t speak the language. His friend assures him that this shouldn’t be a problem: just speak very slowly and the Norwegians will understand you perfectly fine. Once in Oslo the Icelander goes to a bar and tries to order a beer in very slow Icelandic:
“I… want… a… beer.”
The bartender gives him a beer. It worked! After he finishes it, he tries to order another one. Again, very slowly:
“I… want… another… beer.”
The bartender gives him another beer. Amazing! After a couple more beers, the Icelander decides to try a conversation:
“I… am… from… Iceland.”
The bartender replies:
“Me…… too.”
Vinur hans fullvissar hann um að þetta ætti ekki að vera vandamál: Talaðu bara mjög hægt og Norðmenn skilja þig fullkomlega vel. Einu sinni í Osló fer Íslendingurinn á bar og reynir að panta sér bjór á mjög hægfara íslensku:
“Mig… langar í… bjór.
“Barþjónninn gefur honum bjór.
Það virkaði! Eftir að hann klárar það reynir hann að panta annan.
Aftur, mjög hægt.
Translation:
An Icelander takes a trip to Norway but is worried because he doesn’t speak the language. His friend assures him that this shouldn’t be a problem: just speak very slowly and the Norwegians will understand you perfectly fine. Once in Oslo the Icelander goes to a bar and tries to order a beer in very slow Icelandic:
“I… want… a… beer.”
The bartender gives him a beer. It worked! After he finishes it, he tries to order another one. Again, very slowly:
“I… want… another… beer.”
The bartender gives him another beer. Amazing! After a couple more beers, the Icelander decides to try a conversation:
“I… am… from… Iceland.”
The bartender replies:
“Me…… too.”
Buddha5440
"There are some who call me...Tim"
Why did the tachyon beam only have a carry-on?
It was traveling light.
It was traveling light.