Thoughts/Humor of the Day

Biggdaddy

Biggdaddy

Well-known member

A man walked into a seafood restaurant and asked for a lobster tail.​

The waitress smiled sweetly and said - "Once upon a time, there was this handsome lobster......"
 
Fizban

Fizban

Founder, Feb. 2006
Did you know that garbage collectors don't get any formal training?

They just pick it up as they go along!

Please keep all Thoughts/Jokes within PG rated context.
 
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Dandonk

Dandonk

Beater of Dead Horses

The Physicists' Bill of Rights​

(Author Unknown)

We hold these postulates to be intuitively obvious, that all physicists are born equal, to a first approximation, and are endowed by their creator with certain discrete privileges, among them a mean rest life, n degrees of freedom, and the following rights, which are invariant under all linear transformations:

I. To approximate all problems to ideal cases.

II. To use order of magnitude calculations whenever deemed necessary (i.e., whenever one can get away with it).

III. To use the rigorous method of "squinting" for solving problems more complex than the additions of positive real integers.

IV. To dismiss all functions which diverge as "nasty" and "unphysical".

V. To invoke the uncertainty principle whenever confronted by confused mathematicians, chemists, engineers, psychologists, dramatists, and andere schweinhund.

VI. To the extensive use of "bastard notations" where conventional mathematics will not work.

VII. To justify shaky reasoning on the basis that it gives the right answer.

VIII. To cleverly choose convenient initial conditions, using the principle of general triviality.

IX. To use plausible arguments in place of proofs, and thenceforth refer to those arguments as proofs.

X. To take on faith any principle which seems right but cannot be proved.
 
LeslieWest_GuitarGod

LeslieWest_GuitarGod

Well-known member
A very frugal couple is always trying to out frugal each other. One day the husband bursts through the front door sweating profusely and breathing heavily. "Guess what", he blurts out between gasps, "I saved $2.00 today running behind the bus. She looks over at him and screams,

"You moron! You could have saved $50 if you ran behind a cab.
 
LeslieWest_GuitarGod

LeslieWest_GuitarGod

Well-known member
A guy takes his dog to the bar. The bartender says dogs are not allowed inside. "But he's a special dog, he can talk!

Alright, prove it then.

Alright boy, what's on the outside of a tree?

Bark, bark!

Good job, boy. Now, what's on top of a house?

Roof, roof!

Great job, buddy. Now, who's the greatest baseball player of all time?

Ruth, Ruth!

Just get out of here!", the bartender says angrily.

As they walk away, the dog turns to his owner and says "Do you think I should have said DiMaggio instead?"
 
Fizban

Fizban

Founder, Feb. 2006
What do you get when you cross marijuana with a potato?

A baked potato.

Please keep all Thoughts/Jokes within PG rated context.
 
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