Personally I've got no problem with balancing things. Provided that accounts for the bigger risks mellee take in applying their damage, that's fair enough IMO.
For the record though that doesn't mean they should be equal. Melee should IMO, as a general guiding principle, have access to a damage premium commensurate with that risk.
The difficulty the Devs have is that, if accepting that principle, it is difficult to apply in all sepcific cases, as we've got some very clever players who can figure out the specifics of pretty much any context to their advantage. There's nothing wrong with that, it's all part of the meta game. It just means that it's very difficult for the Devs to get it right all the time.
I'm not smart enough to figure out the balance point here. It's too complex and the Devs are paid to do that for me anyway. And as above, there may well not be one.
By allegory, where I want to play, at balance, is any time I'm sitting in the Triceratops arena on my own, copping aggro, thinking "oh strewth, this is gonna hurt" with all my non melee mates nicely perched above in perfect safety, I'll also be able to console myself with the thought that as I go down swinging l'll at least have the comfort of knowing I'm doing more damage for the privilege.
Then they can get my soul stone when it's all over. ?? But then I'll still come back for more. ?