The Best D&D Jokes Thread... Make me laugh, I dares ya!
- Thread starter LeslieWest_GuitarGod
- Start date
Guntango
Well-known member
A vacationing Warforged Barbarian had just arrived in Stormreach Harbor when he noticed that his docent was leaking oil. He headed over to the Hammer and Chain and asked Janeiro to take a look at it.
After dropping his docent off, he goes for a walk around town. He dips into the Leaky Dinghy Tavern to find they've made some fresh ice cream and, being a Warforged Barbarian with a busted docent on vacation, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat. Of course, they're out of spoons, and he makes a real mess trying to eat with his claw hands. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to Janeiro to see if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says "It looks like you blew a seal."
"No no," the Warforged replies, "it's just ice cream."
After dropping his docent off, he goes for a walk around town. He dips into the Leaky Dinghy Tavern to find they've made some fresh ice cream and, being a Warforged Barbarian with a busted docent on vacation, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat. Of course, they're out of spoons, and he makes a real mess trying to eat with his claw hands. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to Janeiro to see if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says "It looks like you blew a seal."
"No no," the Warforged replies, "it's just ice cream."
Jack Jarvis Esquire
Well-known member
When do barbs stop being so smelly?
Just after they've chopped your frikkin nose off!
Just after they've chopped your frikkin nose off!
Jack Jarvis Esquire
Well-known member
A barmaid walks over to serve a barbarian sitting at a table, picking his teeth...
"You can't do that in here" she says. "You'll put other customers off"
"Och it's OK lassie", says the barb. "It'll only take a wee minute to pick one out fur ma neck chain, then I'll bung the rest ae thum back in ma bag afore emdy sees..."
"You can't do that in here" she says. "You'll put other customers off"
"Och it's OK lassie", says the barb. "It'll only take a wee minute to pick one out fur ma neck chain, then I'll bung the rest ae thum back in ma bag afore emdy sees..."
Jack Jarvis Esquire
Well-known member
Momma Barb: "Hey, have you finished chopping down that tree for our firewood yet son?" 
Bubba Barb: "No Momma. I jus keep whackin an whakkin away at this ol' tree, but nomatter how hard I whack, it don hardly seem to make no dent in it..."
Momma Barb: "Well son, you gonna hav ta put down the halflin an try wiv yer axe!"
Bubba Barb: "No Momma. I jus keep whackin an whakkin away at this ol' tree, but nomatter how hard I whack, it don hardly seem to make no dent in it..."
Momma Barb: "Well son, you gonna hav ta put down the halflin an try wiv yer axe!"
The_Apocalypse
Well-known member
Gnomes aint nuttin but elves that been squished by ogres.
The_Apocalypse
Well-known member
I tried watching TV to get my mind off magical steampunk fantasy settings...
...but nothing is Eberron.
...but nothing is Eberron.
ChickenMobile
Member
A Dwarf walks out of the tailors wearing a flashy new suit.
Dwarf: "How you like my new threads?"
Other Dwarf: "I dig it!"
Dwarf: "How you like my new threads?"
Other Dwarf: "I dig it!"
LeslieWest_GuitarGod
Well-known member
Yeah I don't think so. Don't look 'em in the eye when they talk to you!there's a local company called Med Usa... not sure I trust their products> Medusa
this time the joke is on us
Jack Jarvis Esquire
Well-known member
Why are medusa's DPS always so low?
Well, they can only do glancing blows...
Well, they can only do glancing blows...
Jack Jarvis Esquire
Well-known member
Why are medusa's so good at being officers in the Stormreach Night Watch?
Well, they are good at catching a lot of hardened criminals...
Well, they are good at catching a lot of hardened criminals...
Jack Jarvis Esquire
Well-known member
Why are medusa's boyfriends always so relaxed?
Well, they're pretty stoned most of the time...
Well, they're pretty stoned most of the time...
The_Apocalypse
Well-known member
The_Apocalypse
Well-known member
Suddenly pictured Barbie with a rage button...